


Hurt for Me

by Senecaa



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Character Death Fix, Character Study, Fix-It, Heavy Angst, M/M, Slow Burn, Time Travel
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-02-11
Updated: 2019-10-17
Packaged: 2019-10-26 01:43:53
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,487
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17736635
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Senecaa/pseuds/Senecaa
Summary: Decades after leaving Earth, Keith faces certain death and succumbs. Moments later, he is confronted by the Black Lion and tasked with preventing Allura's death. Although doubtful, Keith finds himself back in the desert... years in the past. He is nineteen again. What comes next is a journey of self-forgiveness, friendship, and the undeniable power of love... even if that love is painful.





	1. Weightless

**Author's Note:**

> howdy, this is my first fic so its gonna be messy... but not nearly as messy as vld season 8! 
> 
> as a sort of response to the end of the series, i decided to write this. it's definitely a passion project for me.
> 
> also, your comments are welcome and appreciated!!

Keith didn't have a plan when he took a cruiser out from the Marmora outpost. Didn't even think to check the fuel levels before leaving. He was not certain how long it would take or even where he was going. Wolf (Kosmo) slept on the ground beside him while he scanned the skies for something, anything.

Today was Allura’s Day. A day to remember her efforts — her sacrifice. A day when the Paladins agreed to meet and celebrate together. Despite all efforts made by the others to contact him, Keith couldn't bring himself to respond. It had been years since he last saw them. In truth, he didn't _want_ to see them. Now in his forty-sixth year, Keith found himself wading through infinite space.

There was an asteroid belt just ahead. Keith readied himself, weaving through as best he could. But his hands just weren't what they used to be… Keith slammed into an oncoming rock. The impact was all too much. In a matter of seconds, Keith went from gasping for air to feeling rather still. There was red and then… nothing.

Death was the most comforting thing Keith had ever felt. His limbs were weightless, painless. His soul had presumably risen up into some plane between living and dying. His only regret was leaving Wolf alone. The last thing he heard was Wolf’s low growl…

Images of the past came before him like a dream. First dad, and then Shiro. One after the other, memories of the people he once knew, once cared for, came forward. And then, the Black Lion. As if returning from the cosmos — from Allura's grasp, she appeared.

Keith blinked his eyes to find that he was once again inside her mind. The dreamscape astral plane seemed endless. She stood before him, emitting something _familiar_.

“Black…” Keith could hardly believe she was here. After all this time. And why?

The black lion remained silent, unwilling or unable to give Keith an explanation. Just as the astral plane began to dissipate around them, a small orb of light appeared. It slowly approached him before fully animating into a lion. It was the Guardian of Oriande. After having been destroyed, the black lion must've harbored some of its essence.

The guardian came forth with images of Allura: beautiful and shining and, _alive_. An alternate reality where she did not sacrifice herself to save everyone played out for Keith to see. A reality where she lived a long and fulfilling life with the ones she loved.

Keith didn't understand. “Allura, she’s… but why are you showing me this? She died back then. That was so long ago…”

The Guardian continued to show Keith these images, unwavering in his attempts to communicate with Keith.

It was clear now: the guardian wanted Keith to save Allura — to prevent her death.

“You don't think she should've sacrificed herself… but what can I do? It's too late. I'm already dead” Keith protested. “It's not like I want to help anyway… those days are over.” Keith was no longer an ambitious boy who would sacrifice everything for his friends. He was older now, disillusioned with life and with himself. There was nothing he wanted more now than to _rest_.

The guardian opened his mouth, as if preparing to consume Keith whole.

“Wait!” Keith shouted, unable to move. What remained of the black lion’s mind faded to black. Keith felt himself slip away as well — engulfed by the guardian.

-

Keith woke in a cold sweat.

“What the hell…” he groaned. His neck and shoulders ached, but Keith couldn't figure out why. He found himself sitting at a desk. Papers were scattered about. Notes and coordinates were posted sloppily all over the walls. This was the shack. Keith was back in the desert. He was back.

 _Must be a dream_ , he thought. _There's no way…_

The drafty air gave Keith goosebumps and he wondered how a dream could be so vivid. He lifted his right hand instinctively before setting it back onto the surface of the desk in horror. These hands were not his; they were smaller, _younger_.

Keith inspected his chest, legs, and just about every other inch of his body for clues.

“No. No way. No fucking way,” Keith muttered, angry at the mere possibility. He jumped up from the desk and scoured the room for glass or really anything that could reflect his image. A small, rectangular mirror was leaned up against the wall beside the bed. It was a bit shattered in one corner, but still functional. Keith lifted it up to his face and practically screamed. His eyes were softer, somehow. Brow unwrinkled and skin unsullied. His hair was messy as always, but not graying like before. The scar, however, remained: but faint, like a soft blush running from the back of his jaw to his cheek.  Keith ran his fingers over the mark, which no longer dug into his skin. It was like an afterthought.

 _Fitting_.

He was eighteen again. All evidence confirmed this and yet Keith could not accept it.

“Its a dream. It has to be.” Keith dropped the mirror, shattering what remained of it.

 _Only one way to find out_ he thought, flipping over the pillow on his bed to uncover his blade. It glimmered like it used to, still unscathed and pristine. Keith had forgotten how it felt in his hands. His heart ached when the blade emitted the faintest glow.

_Mom._

Keith quickly dismissed his sentimental thoughts, certain that this was nothing more than a bad dream. Without further hesitation, he pressed the blade against his palm until it pierced skin. Blood trickled out like the juice of an orange.

“Fuck!”

Keith could not discern the reason for taking him back to the desert like this — far from the other paladins and the time in which Allura died. He looked around the shack for answers, hopeful that Black left him some kind of message. Instead, he came to remember just how messy he used to be. Living alone in the desert meant disregarding general cleanliness. Keith was embarrassed by his past, or current? self. The papers which were once useful now proved to be a nuisance. In an attempt to clean the space, Keith gave himself a paper-cut. 

“How can I do anything like this?” Keith asked, his frustration growing. After a moment of silence, he headed for the door. There was nothing left for him here. On his way out, something caught his eye. A red jacket. _His_ red jacket. It had been so long he had almost forgotten what it looked like. Keith picked it up and put it on without a second thought. Whether it was out of sentimentality or need for warmth, he could not determine.

It must've been around 9 p.m. judging by the night sky. The cold air was unwelcoming, but Keith would settle for less. He was back in this lonely desert — almost thirty years in the past… _what a joke._ Keith mulled over this ridiculous situation until he saw something far off. There was a flash in the sky… as if some object was hurdling down to Earth’s surface. It descended over the horizon rapidly, emitting an eerie glow that was all too familiar. Keith felt his chest tighten.

 

**_…Shiro._**


	2. In the Quiet

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A (very) brief look into a moment of Keith’s life after learning about the failed Kerberos mission and being expelled from the Garrison.

The air was thick and muggy, fog descending on the small cabin. It was almost dawn. After a day of going through the coordinates, Keith had fallen asleep at his desk… exhaustion setting in. There were many nights like this: Quiet and still… the only sounds were of the owls, crickets, and Keith’s own beating heart. As he awoke from this light sleep, Keith quickly wiped the drool from his mouth and recovered the papers that had folded and crinkled under his weight. His hands trembled a bit,  
“Dehydration?” he wondered, setting his palms onto the cool surface of the desk. It had been weeks… since Shiro, and the Garrison. Despite all conflicting evidence, Keith could not shut out his hope; his intuition that Shiro was alive.  
The sun rose slowly, hints of light breaking through the shuttered windows. Keith stretched his arms before throwing on a jacket and stepping outside. He breathed softly against the cool air with flushed cheeks. Out here, the sky illuminated everything. Keith could see the light run for miles in either direction. The clouds shifted in fantastic colors and Keith wondered how something so beautiful could also make him feel insurmountable grief. Although his dad often left before dawn, on Sunday’s they would watch the sunrise together. He would tell Keith about the vastness of the sky and what lies beyond—space. A simple memory that brought on enough happiness for a lifetime. Even in his absence, Keith could hear his father's voice; the drawl of his Eastern Texas accent. It was as comforting as it was lonely. Living in desolation could have that effect.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> what if i just, disappeared for months only to come back and post a tiny drabble about the original Keith being sad and tired after Kerberos, haha... unless??? 
> 
> alternatively: chapter 2 is coming v soon and i feel really bad about taking so long, so pls enjoy this very small token of my appreciation for even reading chapter 1 of Hurt for Me ;-;

**Author's Note:**

> thank you for taking the time to read my first chapter! i know a lot of the events are vague i.e. Keith's reason for cutting ties with everyone, but everything will be revealed! eventually.  
> i'm gonna attempt to post every sunday, so we'll see how that goes lmao. in the next chapter, keith is gonna save shiro and meet some old friends along the way.
> 
> comments welcome!!


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